The Orphan Club
by Apollaskywalker
Summary: A sleepless night after the Battle of Yavin leads to the formation of a club.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, this is purely for fun.

The Orphan Club

Luke's internal clock was messed up.

Or at least, he imagined that was the reason he was awake on Yavin IV in the dead of night. As of last night, he'd had his pick of people to hang out with and party and his choice of where to sleep. He'd ended up bunking with Han and Chewie in the _Falcon_, where he was able to convince the two to turn the heat up. Chewie even offered to sleep next to him, since Wookiees had higher temperatures than humans, _and_ he had a fur coat. Luke had turned that down. He'd never shared a bed with anyone other than his aunt and uncle when he had nightmares as a child, but he didn't think it would be the same. He imagined Chewie rolling over and crushing him in his sleep, unaware of the danger. And waking a Wookiee – even in an emergency – wasn't something Luke wanted to do.

But everyone else had fallen asleep and Luke had tossed and turned for the few hours he'd tried to sleep. At one point, he had fallen asleep and even dreamed. But he'd dreamed of fire and of people yelling. A lot of it he couldn't identify: a snowy mountain and the sound of a woman weeping, a lava bank and a man calling, "Don't try it!" before the sound of painful screams, a woman whimpering and then whispering, "There's good in him," and babies crying. But those were fading from his memory, he couldn't recall them very well and by breakfast, they would surely be forgotten. The images of his dream he did remember and remember well were of the smoking home he'd once had, of his only family…

Luke wrapped the blanket tighter around him and looked at the practically deserted hangar. After his dream, he had left the _Falcon_, searching for some form of peace. He wondered what time it was back home, if the suns had risen over the homestead.

A pit in his stomach formed when he thought of home. He wanted to go home. Who would have imagined it? Luke Skywalker, finally away from that dust ball of a planet, a _hero_ even, was _homesick_.

He looked down at the floor, the gray slab had virtually no markings at first glance. But up close, he could see different scratches and marks. He looked at a long scratch, superficial in depth.

He no longer had a home.

It wasn't that he couldn't go back. It was possible for him to go back, but it was a bad idea. The Imperials had been there before he'd done anything against them. He couldn't go back now that he'd rescued an Imperial prisoner, destroyed TIE fighters and their pilots, and destroyed their monstrous killing machine. His friends probably thought him dead.

Besides, to whom would he go back? His aunt and uncle were dead.

A shuddering sob escaped Luke and he put his hands to his face. He pressed his knuckles against his eyes, as if to staunch the flow of tears. If pressure could stop the flow of blood from a wound, why did salt water escape his eyes?

He remembered his uncle carrying him around on his shoulders. Of Uncle Owen teaching him a few tricks about the vaparators, of mechanics, and helping him with his spelling. He recalled Uncle Owen showing up to school to chastise Fixer for breaking Luke's model starship, Luke hadn't even told his Uncle about that.

He remembered Aunt Beru teaching him to cook, even engaging him and Uncle Owen in a flour fight when they were supposed to be baking dessert for a party. Her consoling him time after time. He remembered her tutoring him and Windy on math and rewarding them when they brought their marks up. He remembered that she was the first person to willingly ride with him when he started to fly. She didn't even mock him for the turn he'd nearly botched.

He'd managed to choke his feelings back for all this time. He'd nearly lost that control when Ben died, but now he truly lost all control.

"Hey," Leia touched his shoulder and sat down next to him.

Luke jumped under her touch, at her voice, and felt shame burn him. He wiped his eyes again and wondered if it would be worse to wipe his nose on his sleeve or to leave it as it was.

"I couldn't sleep either," Leia tugged the blanket away from his shoulder and wrapped the two of them together. She took his hand.

"Do you miss home too?" he asked, voice hoarse and shaky.

Leia nodded and tilted her head down, her long hair slid forward to shield her face and escape the loose elastic band she'd tried to contain it in. Luke reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Where is home for you?" she asked.

"Tatooine – or it was. The Empire killed my family."

Leia nodded, "Mine too – all of it." She sighed and he rubbed his thumb against the hand that held his. "I was adopted, you know?" He blinked in surprise. No, he hadn't known that. She saw his surprise. "Huh. Well, it is a big galaxy. I didn't try to hide it, no one did. I did a lot of charity work and fundraising for kids who needed to be adopted. I always intended to look into my adoption records when I came of age but…" she sighed. "I didn't have the time and now I guess I'll never know."

"My parents died, my aunt and uncle raised me," Luke offered. "I know my father's name was Anakin and I thought he was a pilot on a spice freighter. Ben told me he was a Jedi."

"And your mother?"

Luke shook his head. "My aunt just told me she was beautiful. That she came from a world much different than Tatooine. She said she was beautiful…generous and caring. But she remembered her clothes and hands the best. She remembered that her hands were soft, not work worn like…well, everyone else in my family. That she had soft clothes of gentle, expensive fabric." Luke felt another sob rise in his chest. "I never asked what her name was. Now I'll never know."

Leia leaned her head against Luke's shoulder. "My mother used to take me mountain climbing. It was our holiday, we'd go trekking. My father hated it, said he'd had enough of 'roughing it' during the Clone Wars when he'd go on relief missions. My mother always teased him for it, called him a 'city boy'." Luke watched as Leia closed her eyes tightly. "I'll never see those mountains again."

Luke felt like a complete womp rat. He was crying over his family but Leia had lost _everything_. The Empire hadn't just killed her family, they'd destroyed her whole world.

He hugged her tightly. "It won't be for nothing," he promised her.

"I know it won't." She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Before I came out here, I was looking at paperwork, I thought it would distract me. One form I saw asked about 'next-of-kin'…"

"You could put me down," Luke offered. Then hastily added, "I mean, if you want. Just until you –"

"Thank you," tears appeared in Leia's eyes for the first time. Her political training had served her well; she could hide her emotions more easily than Luke, who wore his heart on his sleeve. "You can put me down too. You don't have your family, I don't have mine…."

"What the hell is this?" Han asked behind them. They jumped and turned around, the blanket falling to the ground.

"Couldn't sleep," Luke answered.

"Couldn't sleep?" Han repeated in disbelief. "After all that about turning up the heat, you don't even stay to use it? I'm about to die of heat stroke and you're out here snuggling!"

"Captain, I highly doubt you're going to die of heat stroke, you aren't even sweating."

He was, however, shirtless and wearing a pair of pants with quite a few wears and tears.

"Yeah, well….you worried Chewie, Luke," Han ignored Leia's observation. Leia's expression suggested that Han was lying and that he was the one who had been worried about Luke.

"Sorry," Luke apologized.

There was an uncomfortable pause and then Leia piped up, "We'll apologize to Chewie, but this was the meeting of the Orphans Club and –"

Luke stared at her in confusion. Was she really going to blatantly ignore the color of Luke's face? The obvious tear stains? That her own eyes were puffy and red?

"No, it isn't," Han rolled his eyes. "I happen to be the club president and our meetings aren't for another two standard hours."

Leia scoffed, "No one would vote you president, but very well. Shall we move our meeting to a more hospitable location?"

The more hospitable location ended up being the _Falcon_ whereupon they voted Leia president of the club, Han vice-president (because he'd argued about Leia having presidency and being a princess, almost loudly enough to wake Chewie - and no one asked how Chewie could have been worried when he wasn't even awake) and Luke became secretary/treasurer. Luke asked if Chewie could join, but Han shook his head. Chewie still had his parents on Kashyyyk. The first order of business was to read the minutes of the "previous meeting", where Luke explained what he and Leia had talked about before Han interrupted them. Han skipped the homesickness and offered to have them put him down as next-of-kin because of the three of them; he was the only one with a ship capable of transporting more than two people. Also, Luke technically didn't own the X-Wing. It was his X-Wing, but issued to him by the Rebel Alliance. So, in a way, Han was the only one with a ship on standby, which mattered the most in situations where next-of-kin needed to be notified.

Shrewdly, Leia didn't ask if that meant Han would join the Alliance or not.

After that, Han proposed a game of sabaac, the official game of the Orphans Club. They played for a while and Luke fell asleep at the game table.

Han studied his cards and then looked at Leia. "You know, princess, you can be a lot of fun when you're not bossing me around."

Leia smiled sweetly, laid her winning hand down on the table, and said, "You're not so bad yourself. Thanks for not embarrassing Luke." _Or me_, she thought.

Han looked at the cards and then got up to get some credits. He counted out some of them and then handed them to Leia. "We weren't betting any money."

"Nah, I'm behind on my dues. I figure at our next meeting, we can move that the dues be used to buy Luke some clothes, since he has nothing. You at least have a wardrobe available here."

Leia's eyes widened at Han's generosity. "I'm behind on my dues too," she agreed with him. "We'll bring this up at the next meeting."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars

Author's Note: The rating's gone up for alcohol and a swear word. The holo Luke takes of Leia and Han is a reference/wink to a behind the scenes photo taken of Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford in costume. I'd like to thank you guys for your lovely comments, I hope you like this chapter.

Birthdays

Han still had difficulty wrapping his brain around the fact that Luke and Leia had the _same_ birthday.

And if he were to, for example, throw a surprise party for one, he'd have to do the same for the other on the _same day_. Because, unless one of them went away on a mission or had previously made arrangements, which one would feel _less_ slighted by having their party _after_ the other's? And even if that had an answer, it was moot. Besides, Han wasn't one to throw a party and not go all out, so why not throw a double party anyway?

As the only member of the Orphan Club (which now had by-laws, written by the three of them, but he'd made the first draft without any prodding) not having a birthday that day, it fell to him to be the one to throw it. But that didn't mean he couldn't have help and so he enlisted a few of the pilots and Artoo. Threepio talked too much, so Han left him out of the planning. Chewie, of course, was in on it and had taken over decorating.

At the arranged time, Luke and Leia arrived and everyone jumped out to yell, "Surprise! Happy birthday!"

Now the party was winding down and the three of them were in a corner.

Weirder than their shared birthday, they had both unknowingly bought each other the same present: a holocam, the same model too.

These kids were weird.

Luke took a holo of Leia and Han. Han was pretty sure Leia was a bit tipsy, she was crouched down by him as he leaned forward on his chair. He doubted that she would have ever crouched by him if she weren't at least a bit affected by some kind of alcohol. "I don't get it," Han continued. "Why'd you guys get each other holocams?"

Chewie came back with a plate of food and growled at Han. _Where are the rest of the chairs? _

"You can sit on the floor like her highness."

_Why is she sitting on the floor?_

"It's fine, Chewie," Leia waved her hand in dismissal. She and Luke had been learning how to understand Chewie. "Luke wanted a holo of the two of us, I figured this would give the Captain one that truly reflected what he thinks I think of him." She grinned at Han so wickedly he rethought all notions of her being drunk. She and Luke had planned it, the little womprats. Chewie handed her his plate of food and went off to find some chairs. Leia waited until Chewie was out of earshot and explained, "All of my family holos were destroyed on Alderaan. Luke's are gone too. We'd talked about how we wanted to make new family albums."

"We never brought that up," Han frowned.

"Not at the Club, no," Leia agreed. "But Luke and I talk outside of the Club, you know. Besides, I know you and Chewie have holos of…well, you guys and some of us."

Han choked on his beer. "How did you know that?"

Luke laughed, a really bad sign. Han imagined the holos they'd seen and winced. There had been a few places with novelty photo ops for tourists that Han and Chewie had taken just because they were there. And then Cheiwe had taken a few of Han when he'd been extremely drunk. Outside of Chewie, he'd never wanted anyone to see them.

"Chewie showed us," Leia explained. "He's a wonderful photographer," a light blush appeared on Leia's cheeks, but it could just have been the lighting and/or Han's imagination. It wasn't, Leia had particularly liked one of the photos of Han in the pilot's seat of the _Falcon _and when no one had looked, she'd copied it.

Chewie returned with two chairs and Luke got up to set up another holo. He found a still sober pilot and had the being take a holo of the four of them.

* * *

><p>After the party had ended, they'd gone to the <em>Falcon<em>. Han fell asleep at the gaming table. "You know," Luke said slowly, "I would have thought Han could drink more before falling asleep."

Leia smiled and took out her new holocam to take the picture. "I guess we should know he exaggerates."

"Have you had a surprise birthday party before?" Luke asked her.

Instead of answering, Leia poked Han awake. "Wake up, Captain, meeting's in session."

"Wha- ?" Han asked and then cleared his throat. "What do you mean, meeting?"

"Of the Orphan Club," Leia explained. "Luke asked me if I'd ever had a surprise party before, so that's the order of business: birthday parties."

Han straightened up. Even though he wanted to change into pajamas and go to bed, he wanted to hear this discussion more.

Leia had not had a surprise party before and neither had Luke. At Leia's home, there had always been well-planned parties where she was involved in the planning. They had been modest, for royal standards, but far more extravagant than Han or Luke had ever had. Certainly far more extravagant than the one Han had just thrown for them.

Luke's parties weren't parties. His friends gave him presents, but after the first few "parties", he'd decided he liked not having them. They made his aunt and uncle feel self-conscious because they couldn't always afford to give him the party he wanted like his friends had on their birthdays. Luke explained that he could always sense their discomfort.

Then it was Han's turn to talk and he said, "Yes. I've had surprise parties before. But that's because the first birthday party I had was a surprise. Chewie and his family put it on for me. I don't remember my parents, really, we were…not what you'd call close. My birth was a surprise – I was not a planned kid like you two probably were."

"I probably wasn't, either," Leia corrected him. "After all, I was adopted."

"Oh. Right. Well, I mean your parents wanted you, they adopted you after all. I don't think mine did. But Chewie and his family had us stop by on my birthday and his wife baked an amazing cake, his son and his dad went hunting earlier and so we had this delicious feast – and believe me, Wookiees know how to cook a feast."

"Damn," Luke muttered.

"What?" Han asked, taken aback by the kid's language.

"Well now how are we going to top that?" Luke asked. "I can cook, sort of, I know how, I'm not very good. I don't think Leia has much experience cooking eith-"

"All right, you two, listen up. I do not want a party. I want a quiet evening of friends and entertainment. We'll get wasted, tell each other the stupidest stuff and forget what was said in the morning. That's how you'll top it."

* * *

><p>In the morning, Han received the holos from the party. He kept the one of the four of them. It was his favorite.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.

Author's Note: There's no "meeting" in this chapter, sorry, but there's some Luke and Leia bonding time and one shenanigan between Han and Leia.

Sick Bay

Leia began coughing on the way back from Malastare. Pretty soon Luke too had the same hacking cough. The captain found it slightly amusing and completely predictable that the two of them came down with the same illness one after the other. The two hung out together and she'd seen them at mealtimes once or twice. The princess had encouraged Skywalker to try some food, but he hadn't wanted to get a full serving just to try, so they'd shared it. If that didn't suggest a good friendship, the captain would eat her hydrospanner.

Upon return, the two were sent straight to the Rebel sick bay, accompanied by the medic. Several tests later and two mugs of tea for both patients, the medical droid pronounced the diagnosis: a virus they'd picked up on Malastare, probably from contaminated water or other beverage.

At that point, Leia didn't care how they'd contracted it. She wanted to know when it would stop and what the treatment would be. She blew her nose and felt more mucus push its way to fill the vacancy created. If she tipped her head back, she could feel the mucus slide down and eventually drip down the back of her throat. Just thinking about it made her want to throw up. Actually experiencing it did make her vomit.

Next to her, Luke tried to turn up the heat. He was already wrapped in two blankets and wearing a sweater and long, thermal underwear. She knew this because of two reasons. The first was that the sick bay on the transport ship wasn't big enough to have separate rooms and neither of them had felt up to walking much, plus they were too miserable to feel self conscious and therefore they both dressed in front of each other. The other reason was that the medic objected to both the sweater and the long, thermal underwear. One or the other, she told him. Luke took off the sweater and when she left, he put it back on.

"The two of you will remain quarantined until the virus is no longer contagious. The Resilient and passengers will undergo disinfecting procedures and examinations. The virus should run its course in a week."

Being stuck together in quarantine for a week didn't sound too bad. And it really wouldn't have been so bad, if not for the fact that they were both so congested, they snored. The other's snoring would wake the other and only one could sleep at a time. They also spent a fair amount of time using the 'fresher.

By the third day, they wanted separate rooms. "No offense, Leia," Luke told her, sounding strange with his plugged nose. "But I just want to sleep."

"Me too," she told him and coughed.

Luke pressed the call button for the med droid and waited. It did not take long before the droid buzzed in. "How can I help you?" the droid asked.

"We want separate rooms." Luke spoke for them both. "We can't sleep."

"That is not possible," the droid replied apologetically. "There aren't enough rooms available. Why can't you sleep?"

One explanation, two decongestants, and two sleeping pills later, the two managed to sleep for a while. Their sleep ended when Leia woke up screaming.

At first, the screams confused Luke even more than his location. He'd rarely felt the fear and confusion at waking up and not knowing where he was until he'd joined the Rebellion. And often the screams he heard were remnants of his nightmares. But these screams were different – they were hoarse, they were happening in real life, and they were coming from next to him.

Luke realized they were coming from Leia and in his scramble to help her, became entangled in his sheets and fell to the floor. The crash bothered him more because of his dizziness and the sudden rise of nausea than the impact. He ignored all of it and moved to Leia. He reached out to her but didn't touch her, unsure if that would upset her more or not. Unconsciously he accessed the Force and touched her mind. The gentle touch interrupted her nightmares and she woke. "Leia!" Luke held his hands out in front of her so she saw them first and then he took her into his arms. "It's all right, you're safe, you're all right."

Leia had stopped screaming, but the screams had hurt her throat and so she coughed violently against Luke's chest. She also began crying.

None of this made her feel any better.

When she finally calmed down enough, Luke offered her a throat lozenge and she took it. Then she began to cry again to Luke's bewildered horror. She hurled the lozenge at the wall and covered her face with her hands. The lozenge struck the wall and shattered.

The commotion had stirred a med droid but Luke shooed it away with a pointed look. He didn't want the droid to trigger memories of the interrogation droid. "What is it, Leia? What do you need?"

"Alderaan," she whispered. It was an answer, a request, and a horrified observation.

He didn't know what she'd observed but he had to find it. He glanced around the room and then finally looked down at the package he'd taken the cough drop from. They were flavored to taste like Alderaanian fruit.

Luke didn't say anything, there was nothing to say. She'd heard every platitude in the books. He just took her hands away from her face and held her hands in his. Let her cry in the open, he thought. Let her not be ashamed to grieve.

Leia looked at their hands and slowly calmed down. Her throat felt terrible and so she called the med droid to request some ice. The droid did better and brought them both some popsicles. The two ate their frozen treats on Leia's bed. In order to eat it comfortably, Luke wrapped himself in one of his blankets.

"Don't tell Han," Leia whispered hoarsely.

"I won't." Luke assured her.

"I don't think he'd understand getting upset over a _cough drop_."

"This is my first popsicle," Luke held up what was left of his. "So I'm kind of glad you didn't want the cough drop. These are amazing."

For the first time since she'd woken, she looked at his face. How could anyone _not_ have eaten a popsicle before? Surely desert planets specialized in frozen deserts? They would be incredibly popular. But he clearly had told the truth, it was so easy to read Luke's lies and he had no indications of lying now. But those thoughts left her when she noticed that his mouth was bright orange. She grinned and pointed it out to him.

"Yeah, well, your mouth's purple, so I don't think you can judge."

* * *

><p>"Hey, kids!" Han waved to them as they left the quarantined ward. "Threepio here told me you guys caught some virus. Now, as your next-of-kin, I feel the need to tell you this: whatever garbage your guardians gave you about sharing, <em>don't.<em> Keep that away from me."

Luke started to tell Han that they weren't contagious any longer but Leia hurried over and hugged Han tightly, then coughed onto his face.

"Oi! That's real mature, your worshipfulness!" Han pushed her away and grabbed a hypospray, which he thrust towards her like a lightsaber and waved it in defense of himself.

"I'm sorry," Leia apologized without any sincerity. "I just had to do it."

Han put the hypospray down and grinned. "I know you guys aren't contagious any more. How're you feeling? You don't look half bad, did you guys just want to get some time off?"


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Author's note: Sorry it's been a while! Hope you like this one!

The Dance

Han licked the salt from his fingers and watched Leia chat with an officer. She was only late for the midday meal and he tried to pretend he hadn't noticed, but Luke had definitely caught on to all Han's glances towards the entrances. "Kid, I just don't think this is a club concern," Luke opened his mouth to counter that, "and if it were, you'd bring it up at a meeting, which this is not."

They never had club meetings at lunch. Or dinner. Or breakfast. Or any meal or snack provided the eating of said food took place in the cafeteria. They had tried it once and Wedge sat down next to them during a discussion of what kind of punishments their guardians had given them for their one of their biggest crimes (Luke: crashing his skyhopper and lying about it, Han: one time Chewie's wife made this truly horrid dish that gave Han a headache just smelling and so Han burned it, then Chewie hung Han from a tree by his vest for a while, Leia: she made faces at a banquet behind the guest of honor as he spoke – her punishment had not been revealed, thanks to Wedge's arrival) and they'd all been flustered at trying to explain how the topic had come up. Looking back on it, it shouldn't have been as difficult to come up with a reasonable explanation, but that hadn't been the case at the time. Han looked back on it also with the opinion that Leia had committed a bigger or worse transgression but he couldn't say that to her without greater proof.

"Fine," Luke bowed to Han's logic. "But I still think one of us should go with Leia to the dance."

"By one of us, you mean 'you'." Han waved at Leia as she finished up her conversation with the officer. She raised a hand to acknowledge him and then got in line to get her food.

"It doesn't have to be me!" Luke protested, blushing.

Han arranged his utensils on his tray and leveled Luke with a look. "You know, it's ok to admit you like her. She is very sexy – and she knows what she wants. That's very hot in bed. Knows what she wants and isn't afraid to say it mmmm," Han struggled to keep the grin off his face as Luke's face got even redder.

"I don't know what I feel for her," Luke finally mumbled. "I've never…felt…like this for anyone or –"

"Guys more your thing?" Han asked simply.

"No," Luke shook his head, blond strands of hair jostling in a way that made Han wonder if the next order of business at a meeting should be about getting Luke a hair cut. They'd already had Leia tell them they needed to buy more clothes. "I mean it, Han! I've never felt…like this about anyone."

Han saw the truth in Luke's face – but then again, he always saw the truth in Luke's face. It was probably the reason he came back to Yavin IV and the Rebels in the first place: Luke's honest anger, disappointment, and belief that Han was more of a team player than he'd admit. "Kid, there's such a thing as being asexual. Maybe you don't want to join Leia in bed –"

"I don't!"

Han held up his hands in surrender. "And that's fine. But just so you know, you might want to look into asexuality, see if it fits you."

Luke was quiet as he mulled that over. Han felt like an older brother and not a friend just then. If the old man had said anything about this when they'd met at the cantina, Han would have laughed his way out of there.

Leia put her tray on the table next to Han and gave him a strange look. "What did you say to Luke?"

Han didn't want to announce the kid's private business and confusion, so he just said, "What makes you think I said anything?"

"He looks confused. Whatever he told you, Luke, it's probably wrong."

"Maybe, maybe not," Luke said absently. Then he asked, "Has anyone asked you to the dance?"

Leia spread her napkin on her lap and sighed. "Yeah, you?"

Luke nodded. Han nearly choked on air. "What?! You never said!"

* * *

><p><em>On the first day the dance was announced, a Twi'lek med tech had approached Luke as he went to the 'freshers to shower after a drill. At this time, Luke hadn't even heard there would be one. "Lt. Skywalker," she addressed him softly. Figuring she was there on official business, he stopped and gave her a friendly smile. Aside from the rebels who'd been there at Yavin IV, most of the Alliance members approached Luke like he was a holo-vid star. He asked her how he could help her and she stammered out, "Wou-would you l-like to go to the d-dance…with me?" the last two words were barely audible.<em>

_Luke had said nothing for a full minute and then said, "I'm sorry, what?"_

_"Oh, it's ok! I just thought I'd ask!" and she bolted before he could even register what her words meant. He didn't know her name or anything about her other than her species and gender, so he couldn't actually answer the request. He hadn't seen her since, either._

_Another suitor had sent him a message via the Rebel social platform._

_A few others had approached, but they seemed to taper off after he'd stumbled and stuttered through his, "I don't – what dance?" After that, they turned and scurried away, embarrassed, leaving Luke to ask the brass around him just what this dance was and when/where it was._

* * *

><p>"So," Leia asked after Luke finished his story of the invitations. "Are you going with anyone?"<p>

"Leia, I just said I didn't know anything about a dance when they asked. I couldn't tell them anything because I didn't know if I'd be on a mission or something. And they've all avoided me since! So, no, I'm not."

"Well, is there anyone you find attractive?"

Luke cast a desperate glance at Han. "Eh, he doesn't know," Han told Leia, helping himself to some of her food. In retaliation, she poked his fingers with her fork.

"How can you not know?" Leia exclaimed.

"Well…I grew up in the middle of nowhere, Leia. Everybody seems to look great to me. I don't know about fashion, I didn't know that black doesn't compliment brown that well until _after_ we got the medals and you told me. Some of these species/races I've only seen on the HoloNet."

"Well, is there anyone who stands out?"

Luke thought. You, he almost said. "Well…there's a flight tech, Dayzha Duoza, she's really funny and smart. She also is a good artist, she painted the symbols on my ship."

"So ask her!"

* * *

><p>Han was <em>not<em> rushing. His legs were moving quickly because he wanted to move at this pace, not because he was worried.

Ok, he _was_ worried. And yes, he _was_ rushing.

_Leia_ had invited him to _her room_ to discuss _urgent unofficial business_.

When he arrived and she let him in, he didn't use any of her titles. "What's wrong, Leia?"

"Nothing," Leia's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why would you –" she stopped speaking. "Oh. No, I just…didn't want you to blow me off."

Secretly, Han felt offended. He and Leia might regularly bicker, argue, and otherwise seem like unlikely friends, but they both cared about each other. "I wouldn't," he said seriously in a low voice. "I figured you needed my help, but I couldn't think why," he took a seat at her desk chair, leaving Leia to sit on her bed. For a princess, her quarters were rather sparse, he had expected a suite with cushioned chairs and thick, luxurious rugs, paintings on the walls from famous artists.

Instead she had a regular sized bed with two pillows and a blanket Han recognized as being of Alderaanian cloth. Her desk was a simple construction with space for her data pads and data chips. Her closet was open and while she did have a fair number of clothes, they were mostly practical – the fancy dresses were pushed off to the side. And the only decoration on her wall were two holos: one of Leia and her parents on Alderaan and the other of her, Luke, Han, Chewie, and the droids. There was a last holo on her desk, a holo of the three of them taken at Luke and Leia's party.

It didn't seem right, Han thought. She deserved more.

"It relates to club business."

"Oh," Han looked around, wondering where Luke would sit. Being Luke, he'd probably sit on the floor. "So when's Luke going to get here?"

"He's not. Like I said in my message, it's unofficial." She bit her lip. "I'm to go on a fundraising mission with Mon Mothma. I'm going to miss the dance."

"Ok. And?"

"Well…at our next meeting, I was going to say that since it's Luke's first dance, as his family, we need to take action. Family involvement means making sure he gets a good suit to wear, we take holos, and –"

"Generally embarrass the hell out of the kid? Well, I'm not going on this fundraising trip, am I?"

Leia shuddered at the thought of Han trying to convince delegates to fund the Rebellion. He would get money, of course, but that would probably be the result of threats, maybe a blaster fight, hostility, gambling, and then some. The donors would probably never donate again. "No, you're not required on this mission," she told him diplomatically.

Han didn't even bother to try to hide his amusement and grinned wildly. "So I can still do all of that. It's no problem at all. It even sounds like fun."

"And you…are…you going to the dance?"

"Nah," Han shook his head. "I don't dance. Well, I have…when I'm really drunk. But otherwise, no, not my thing."

He got up and picked up the holo from her desk. "So you can have one for your desk?"

Leia grabbed the holo and deactivated it. The image disappeared into the mini projector in her palm. "For Luke."

"The kid, right." Han nodded. "Well, don't worry. I'll handle it."

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>Leia stumbled up the ramp of the Falcon, exhausted from the long trip. When she got inside, Chewie greeted her with a steaming cup of kaffe. He growled a greeting and then pulled her into a one armed hug. Gratefully, Leia accepted the beverage and drank half of it as she walked to the common room. Han had his own cup of kaffe on the gaming table and he raised a finger to his lips when he saw Leia. With a tilt of his head, he gestured at Luke. When she saw him, she understood the need for quiet. He was asleep in one of the chairs, a blanket covered him, but he obviously hadn't put it there.<p>

"We were waiting for you," Han said quietly. "Guess the dance wore him out. It ended about seven hours ago – but I made him stay in his getup."

"How'd it go?" Leia asked and sat down next to Han at the gaming table.

Chewie responded and Han translated. "He says it went well. Kid had a good time. Got lots of holos. Dayzha agreed to go with him as friends, I think you might have already known that." Leia nodded, Luke had sent that on his coded transmission shortly after Leia's ship had left for Felucia. "This is the best holo," Han took out a transmitter and activated it. In the holo, Luke and Dayzha waved to the cam, then Dayzha said something and Luke burst out laughing just before the holo looped. Han deactivated the transmitter and handed it to her.

She accepted it and leaned her head against his shoulder. Then, in wistful tone commented,"They grow up so fast, don't they?"

Chewie barked a laugh, Luke twitched in his sleep in response to the noise but didn't wake up.

"Oh yes, darling," Han adopted the same tone. "Feels like it was just yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital, head full of hair, and face like a nerf."

"He got that from you."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Still not mine

Author's note: Tholothian is what Adi Gallia, Stass Allie, and Katooni are

Snow

Ever since the new base's location had been selected, Leia and Chewie had gathered cold weather gear for Luke like they were preparing for the end of the galaxy. Half of the Falcon's pantry was stocked with warm beverage mixes, easy to make warm, heavy foods. Luke had found a cold weather survival kit in his X-Wing not too long ago with four thermal blankets, nonperishable food items, hand warmers, and odds and ends he couldn't identify. Leia took him shopping to find the perfect boots, gloves, and made him buy long underwear.

The first time he put the clothes on, he waddled around the room, arms held stiffly out, his feet crashed against the floor with loud, painful steps. "It's so thick!" he complained. "And heavy! How do you _move_?"

"It's not that thick," Leia pushed his arms closer to his sides. "You're just not used to it," Chewie put Luke's hat on for him and Luke pushed the brim up out of his face. "Trust me, you'll be grateful when you get to the new base."

"I've been in space, it can't be any colder than that," Luke dismissed Leia's concern.

Artoo beeped a scoffing response.

"Hush, you rotund liar," Threepio gesticulated at his counterpart with as much exasperation as the protocol droid could muster. "You were never on Orto Plutonia with General Kenobi and Master Luke's father."

Artoo beeped back a correction.

"No, I was not! I would remember that!"

"Orto Plutonia?" Luke asked. "That's a moon, isn't it? Covered by snow?" He said the word "snow" as if it were a mythical creature that existed only in the minds of dreamers.

* * *

><p>Luke stared at the endless white expanse of snow as he landed on Hoth. So this was snow. It didn't look too different from sand, save for its white color and the sparkles under the sunlight. It was bright; he had imagined snow would make everything feel dark.<p>

The landing cycle finished and Luke opened the cockpit canopy. The cold air rushed to his face and he winced. Oddly enough, his first instinct was to shout, "It's hot! It's burning my face!" but he kept quiet and climbed the ladder down to the base floor, which felt crunchy under his boot covered feet.

"Salt," Dayzha told him, holding out a scarf. "It's to keep the ice from forming and making everything slippery. And there's some sand in the mix." Her dark eyes were visible, but not her mouth or nose. "Put the scarf on," she ordered. "Trust me, Luke, you'll appreciate it."

Just like he'd practiced, Luke wrapped the scarf around his neck and Dayzha adjusted it so part of the scarf covered his face. "Welcome to Echo Base, Commander," she said formally. They walked further into the base where Luke spotted some bipedal creatures with short arms (or were they legs and they just stood on two feet?) covered in thick gray-ish fur and curled horns. "Taun Tauns," Dayzha explained. "We've been using them as transport, unfortunately we've been having trouble with the speeders. These are fairly easy to domesticate, which is a plus," she stopped to scratch one's neck.

Luke adjusted his scarf and shivered. "So, why are the speeders having difficulties?"

"The cold of course. I'd ask you, flying ace, but I know you have no cold weather experience."

Luke tugged on her hat teasingly, the motion of which caught her headdress and exposed her hair. Dayzha's eyes widened and she yanked her hat back on. "I'm sorry!" Luke apologized quickly. The Tholothian hurried away, embarrassed and horrified.

He didn't even have time to call her back or formulate a proper response. Leia ran up to him and grabbed his hand. "Luke, come on! Come on!"

Luke let Leia drag him out of the relatively warm base into the outdoors. The air immediately bit into his face and he understood Dayzha's adjustment of the scarf. It was all so white, so bright, he shielded his eyes with his hand and thought of the times he'd made the same motion on Tatooine to scan the horizon. Between the sense of wonder and the overwhelming cold, Luke felt a pang of loss. He wondered how his aunt would have reacted to this, he knew his uncle would have liked it.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Leia asked. "Dangerous, but beautiful…." She dropped down into the snow and began to flail her arms and legs.

"What are you doing?" Luke asked.

"I'm making a snow angel. My mother and I used to do this all the time." Leia got up and admired the impression in the snow. "You do it!"

So Luke dropped down into the snow and felt the gentle give beneath him. It was like being on an air mattress. Just as Leia had done, he kicked his legs and waved his arms, sweeping the snow side to side. When he got up, he left boot prints in the angel. "I ruined it," he lamented.

"Nonsense!" Leia laughed. "It's perfect." She reached down and began to scoop snow between her hands.

"Smile for the cam!" Han called out and Luke turned to see Han and Chewie taking holos. "The Kid's First Snow Day," Han titled the holos he took.

"Oh come on!" Luke complained. "When are we going to get to rag on you about your –" something hit him and Luke stopped midsentence to look around for the source.

"It's called a snowball," Leia said between fits of laughter. "And you should see the look on your face!"

* * *

><p>Han went back inside a lot sooner than Luke or Leia. They had brought up how nice snow and ice would have been right after the incident on Ord Mantell and it left Han feeling sick. That bounty hunter had shown up out of nowhere on that supply run. And Luke's determination to keep Han away from that hunter – well that, that had <em>not<em> come out of nowhere.

But that damn fool kid…

And then the princess charging up as well –

_Kriff_, Han had definitely stayed way too long.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars

Author's note: This takes place at the beginning of ESB, right after Han tells Leia he's leaving.

Uncertainty

First message: _Han, it's Leia. I think – you can't – it's not that…look, can't we talk about this? I mean, before you actually go and do this?_

Second message: _Han, please. I know you're a grown man, you're the eldest of us all, except Chewie, but isn't this something that we all should talk about? This isn't you getting a new job…please. Let's just talk._

Third: _Have you at least told Luke?_

Fourth: _Han answer me._

Fifth: _I'm going to tell Luke._

Sixth: _Han, I can't raise Luke, is he with you?_

Seventh: _Han, I can't find Luke. I can't raise him._

Eighth: _Han, seriously, where is Luke?! He isn't to be trusted on his own here yet! Wedge told me they found him trying to use a blow torch to heat up his room two days ago. I'm worried._

Ninth: _Han, if you don't answer I will send Threepio out after you._

* * *

><p>The salt crunched under Leia's feet as she paced by the closed bay doors. The frozen iceball of a planet that was Hoth had turned, the rebel side facing away from the only source of heat and light and effectively writing out the death certificate for the two men Leia considered family.<p>

Funny, she had been so excited to show Luke the snow and now there was a good chance he might die there in the cold. A desert boy who'd been swept up into this mess because of her message now freezing to death on a hidden base whose only hope of survival was Han Solo, a man who'd already shown his loyalty was based on nothing but whimsy.

She thought of Han and how the last words they'd shared were arguments and hostile exchanges. She wanted to tell him that she didn't mean any of the negative things that she'd said. That she understood that what happened on Ord Mantell had been scary for him. So Luke had been hit by blaster fire? He was only grazed by it and there wasn't even a scar. They would have done it again a thousand times over.

She hated Han at that moment.

But then she thought of how Han had showed her the holos he'd taken of them in the snow and how he'd shared them with basically everyone on base. He'd jokingly said that he'd sent one to Vader, but she knew that had to be a joke. A holo like that could give away their location.

She loved Han then.

Then she thought of Luke and how much he reminded her of Alderaan.

She could see the lake her mother took her to regularly in Luke's deep blue eyes. She could see the mountains in Luke's strong hands and how they always seemed to be there to catch her and lift her up when she was sad or hurt.

But most of all, she saw peace and home when she saw him.

Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes and she stoically held them back. She didn't do it out of pride but out of practicality, she would not have water on her face on this ice cube. She'd rather not have it freeze on her, thank you very much.

"Leia, here," Leia glanced at Dayzha and accepted the offered cup of hot tea. "If you need me, you know how to reach me."

"Dayzha," Leia said softly. The two women looked at each other. "Do…" the question caught in Leia's throat. "Are you an orphan?"

"What? No, my parents are still alive. Why?" Leia shook her head and took a sip of the tea. "Try to get some sleep," Dayzha suggested and then left.

Leia paced some more, drank some of the tea, and thought of her mother – her birth mother. She thought of the sadness on her face and wondered if her mother had ever experienced this kind of night.

* * *

><p>Leia fell asleep against Chewie, his thick fur coat helped warm her and before she knew it, Artoo's loud, excited trill woke them up. Chewie bellowed at the droid and Artoo beeped. "Mistress Leia! Mistress Leia!" Threepio's arms were raised and moving excessively for a droid who complained that the cold was freezing his joints. "Terrific news, Mistress Leia! The speeder crews found Master Luke and Captain Solo! They're on their way to the base right now!"<p>

Leia jumped up and followed Artoo to where the speeders were due back and two medic droids had arrived. She didn't make it there before the speeders swooped in and landed but she was there to see Han climb out on his own and walk without any help. He looked a little cold and graciously accepted a warm blanket and thermos of tea. He hadn't even taken a drink before Chewie enveloped him in a hug and told him off in growls and howls. "I'm fine, Chewie, get off me, ya great furball."

"Captain Solo, I am delighted to see you have returned!" Threepio cheerily told the Corellian.

"Your worship," Han saluted her with his thermos when Chewie finally let go.

"Captain," Leia nodded at him. She wanted to throw her arms around him, kiss him hard, and cry against his shoulder, but his greeting told her that their positions had not changed since the South Passage.

So she turned to Luke. Wedge and Hobbie helped the medical droids lower him onto a gurney and cover him with blankets. Artoo whistled worriedly and reached out with one of his appendages to drag a blanket up higher on Luke's chest. Leia walked over to the gurney and pulled off one of Luke's gloves as well as one of her own. She laced her warm, pink fingers withLuke's cold, pale ones. Gently, she squeezed his hand. _I'm right here_, she thought, _I'm not going anywhere. Don't you leave me. Not again._

She didn't really know what she meant by that.

She, Han, Chewie, and the droids went with the gurney to sick bay, Leia held Luke's hand all the while.

"You know, princess, I was out there too."

"Thank you." Leia said coldly.

"If I were unconscious, would you hold my hand?"

Through gritted teeth, Leia said, "Doesn't matter, I would never tell you."

She had to let go of Luke for them to put him in the bacta tank.

As they watched him bob around, air bubbles escaping his breather, a bit of the tenseness between Han and Leia faded. He leaned against the wall near her and said gently, "He scared the hell out of me…and when I found him…he was almost the same color as the snow. But he was talking…talking…well, rambling. About the old man and something called 'Yoda". Does that mean anything to you?"

"No," Leia admitted. She looked at Han and this time she let the tears show. "You scared me, the both of you. But thank you for going out after him."

"He would have done the same for me," Han shrugged. He gave Leia a hug.

"Of course," Leia nodded. "We're family."

Han's jaw clenched. "No, we're not, princess." The wall was back in his voice. "We might be part of an unofficial club you made up to lie to me, but we are not family. And this doesn't change a thing. As soon as the _Falcon_'s ready to go and Luke's on his feet, I'm outta here."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything

Author's Note: Hey, I hope you like angst because this short chapter features the galaxy's favorite angst ridden guy: Darth Vader. Also, the "documentation" Piett has for the hyperdrive is a wink to my story "Dear Admiral Piett".

_This chapter is dedicated to JannaKalderash. I hadn't intended to bring Vader into this and he still doesn't know it's a "club" but your comment kept going through my head._

Vader

Vader stepped aboard the _Millennium Falcon_ and turned to Admiral Piett. "You told me the hyperdrive was deactivated?"

"Yes, m'lord," Piett nodded. "I have the documentation for the hyperdrive," Piett was not about to go the way of his predecessor, he would do all possible to ensure that he did not fail Lord Vader. Unfortunately the first crew had fixed the hyperdrive, requiring him to make some changes and issue punishments… "This crew is at work deciphering the ship's logs and computer banks, scanning for information."

"I find it unlikely that the princess would be lax enough to leave a trail, no matter how secure she believed this vessel to be," Vader turned full his attention to Piett and let the crew become mere specks of dust in the Force. "What are you hoping to find, Admiral?"

"Anything, m'lord, I believe knowing one's enemy to be an asset in war."

"We are not at war," Vader reminded him. "The farmer is not at war with a few bad seeds. I commend your efforts, Admiral, keep me apprised." He departed the Falcon but paused on the end of the ramp. He could feel his son's presence where he stood, he remembered the day the princess escaped, the day he'd seen the _Falcon_ for the first time. The blond boy who had cried out at the death of Obi-Wan Kenobi…then escaped. He had no doubt crossed this ramp many times.

Vader changed his mind about leaving.

"My lord," a crewmember nodded to him.

"Yes, Lord Vader?" Piett asked.

"Take your crew and leave, I wish to inspect the ship myself." Piett asked no questions, something Vader found to be Piett's main strength at the moment. Quickly, Vader was alone in the silent ship. He followed the Force's pull to where his son's signature resonated the strongest.

His first stop was the main hold. There wasn't anything in the room that suggested it was anything other than a smuggler's ship, in fact, there was barely anything that identified it to its owner. A gaming table, a few seats, nothing much. But there was a blanket on one of the chair's. Vader picked it up, it was thick and soft – and very much had his son's Force signature on it.

Some people looked at newborns and talked of the family resemblance. Vader looked at the Force signature and saw Padmé. He folded the soft blanket neatly and carried it with him around the ship.

Nothing else caught his attention like the blanket had, so he turned to the computers. He knew a thing or two about computers and he definitely knew his way around ships.

Vader sat down and accessed the terminal. Surprisingly, what he wanted wasn't locked. Or perhaps unsurprisingly as it contained no real secrets.

One by one, Vader looked at the holo images of Captain Solo, Princess Leia Organa, the Wookiee, the two droids, and his son.

They were all home holos, nothing professional like some of the portraits Vader kept of Padmé. Some had hands trying to block the cam; some had people half out of frame. They all featured happiness.

Smiles, teasing faces, goofy expressions, contentment…

_He has her smile_

If not for the automated breathing apparatus, his breath would have stopped. Instead it continued in its ominous cycle, loud in the silent ship.

Anger coursed through Vader, anger at Solo, at the Wookiee, at the princess, even his damned protocol droid that he had built for his mother and then given to his wife – now in the hands of a princess who worked against him –

Damn them all for having what he did not. Damn them all for having his son, for sharing in these images, of knowing what he liked to eat for breakfast and how he slept. Curse them for knowing how he sounded when he laughed.

_And damn Palpatine for having lied to him._

The thought crept into his head just as unbidden as the thoughts of his wife. It made his heart stop and skip a beat.

It had been Palpatine who'd told him Padmé had died. How could he not have known that she had given birth? That Obi-Wan had somehow taken the child and hidden him? How could this have escaped their knowledge?

Either Palpatine knew and had lied or they had both been fooled.

"I hate you," Vader thought to Obi-Wan, just as he had shouted it on the bank of a lava river on Mustafar. "You took him from me."

No, Palpatine had not lied to him, they had been tricked. Cruelly, inhumanely tricked!

Vader abandoned the computer terminal and stormed out of the ship. Piett hurried over to him and Vader instructed him to download all the holos and send them to him.

"Yes, my Lord," Piett agreed. Then he paused and asked, "My, Lord…the blanket?"

Vader held on tightly, "It is of no concern to you."

"No," Piett agreed quickly. "I just wondered if you would like me to have it sent somewhere."

_Excellent save, Admiral_, Vader thought and smiled slightly. "No. I will deal with it myself."

"As you wish, sir," Piett excused himself and went to instruct the crew.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.

Phantom Pains

The chatter at the table fell over Luke's ears like raindrops on a window. He could hear it, but it made no sense to him. He turned his head away from his friends – the other pilots – and steadily inhaled and exhaled like the medical droid had recommended. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. It was supposed to work at controlling his pain, but all it really did was give him something to focus on other than the pain. It didn't work as well as listening to Leia's holos about Alderaanian folklore. Or listening to Leia complain loudly about how obnoxious and ignorant some of the former senators were or the potential Alliance allies they were currently trying to create treaties and deals with or something Luke didn't understand.

Luke didn't even notice the pungent aroma of Wedge's plate when he arrived. The rest of the Rogue squadron groaned and complained about the Corellian sausage and fermented vegetables. "Oh come on," Wedge sighed. "You all have your crazy food and I don't complain about it –"

"That's because our food doesn't stink like yours does."

"Luke," Wedge turned to his friend. "Help me out here – Luke?"

That turned the entire table's attention to Luke. They had been there for other episodes of this phantom pain. The overabundance of attention did not help Luke, especially since they all really wanted him to answer their questions or respond to them.

"Luke," Leia grabbed his arm and for the fifth time in the past week, Luke wondered if they had some form of telepathy going on between them. She had heard him at Bespin, or at least that was the only explanation that made sense. How else would she have known where to find him? Besides, she'd admitted that they had already been on their way away from Vader and towards safety. "Come on, Luke. I've got him," she announced to the squadron and led him out of the cafeteria.

They made made their way to Leia's room, where Luke took his seat in the oversized, overstuffed arm chair big enough for Chewie to sit in (though Chewie hated the chair's upholstery and therefore never sat in it). "Bad?" Leia asked, handing him the heating pad from its fallen spot on the floor.

Since returning to the Alliance, Luke and Leia had spent much time in Leia's room. Luke had a bunk with the other pilots, but Leia had her own suite in reflection of her position. They'd decorated the room once, because the medical droid told them that distraction would be a good thing to try to escape the phantom pains.

One giant chair, two paintings, a wall of perfectly lined up and organized holos, new bedspread, and color coordinated extra bedding for Luke (who slept in the oversized chair often) later and they'd realized decorating was not going to be the answer. Just what could he continue to decorate time after time? The chefs had kicked them out of the kitchen once they realized just how much Luke, Leia, and Chewie were taking (Chewie could eat a lot of cookies). So decorating cakes, cookies, and other baked goods was out of the question.

That was when Leia had put on the audio holonovel of Alderaanian myths. He really enjoyed that and it seemed to help, that and the heating pad.

So while Luke turned on the heating pad, Leia started the novel.

They finished the chapter and Leia asked how Luke was doing. "Better," Luke wiggled his fingers. "Who would have ever thought there could be so much trouble from something that's not here anymore."

* * *

><p>Luke received the message early the next morning and reported to the flight ready room. When he saw General Rieekan with Mon Mothma. The distinguished senator (and one of Leia's mentors and a mother figure) intimated Luke. She always seemed to find the right words and to speak gently. She was unlike anyone Luke had experienced before. His aunt had been gentle, but she didn't always have the right words. His uncle had been stern and definitely said more of what he thought at the moment than what he probably wished he had said. Leia and Han had equal amounts of fire in their speech and they both readily used it. Luke appreciated the directness.<p>

But Mon Mothma…

She planned, she studied and observed, she reached conclusions slowly but with conviction.

Luke, even before becoming a rebel and therefore active in battle, had always made decisions on the fly. He understood that kind of thinking.

"Commander Skywalker," Mon Mothma gave him a gentle smile. "It's good to see you again."

"And you," Luke also had no idea how to address her. With the Imperial Senate disbanded, was her title still Senator?

"Skywalker," Rieekan nodded at him and Luke nodded back.

"Shall we sit?" Mon Mothma gestured towards the chairs and they all sat down. "Commander, I'm afraid we have an unpleasant topic today."

Luke nodded again. He realized he'd done that a lot since arriving at the meeting and decided to do something different. He cleared is throat and said, "Well, let's hear it. Is it a mission for the Rogues?"

"No," Rieekan spoke before Mothma could and he spoke bluntly. "It's about you. About your hand."

"I'm sorry if this is an uncomfortable subject," Mothma spoke gently, as if to counter Rieekan. "I read your account of the duel with Darth Vader. You were very brave, just like your father," Luke winced, the two leaders pretended not to notice. "But your medical records and your flight crew have reported that you are experiencing incapacitating pain as a result of your lost limb."

"Phantom pains," Luke supplied. "Two-One-Bee says it's common and that only time will tell if they're temporary or permanent."

"Yes," Mon Mothma started to say something.

"Luke, we're aware that you're not able to function when the pain hits." Maybe Rieekan meant to soften his tone by addressing Luke by his first name, but Luke didn't feel that way. He readied himself for the bad news. "And it's because of that, that we can't risk losing you, that you're grounded."

The word meant nothing for the longest of seconds and then he understood. Like a bird taken for a pet, his wings had been clipped. He would not be allowed to pilot his X-Wing. He would not be allowed to do anything with flying the ships. Maintenance and simulator training only.

He might have been grounded, but he felt the ground give out beneath his feet and became grateful for the chair holding him in place.

The rest of the meeting passed by in a blur of nothingness. They spoke, but they said nothing. Luke replied, but it was as if he were on autopilot. Their meeting adjourned and he walked down the halls of the ship, passed the hangar, and arrived at the gym.

For two blissful, painful hours, Luke put himself through the most grueling fitness regimen he could think of. He heard other rebels comment that he should "slow down" or "take it easy" as he pushed himself to the very limits of his body and mind. He only stopped when he threw up.

At meals, he said nothing to anyone about the grounding. He didn't even tell Leia, though she asked what made him get out of the chair so early in the morning. Chewie felt Luke's forehead, looking for a temperature and barked out, _You look pale, cub._

"I'm just tired," Luke explained.

* * *

><p><em>Luke, wake up. It's time for breakfast.<em>

_Mornin' momma!_

_Morning, love. _

_Anakin, when are you going to stop gallivanting across the galaxy and settle down? Your son needs you at home, your wife needs you at home –_

_Not this again, Owen. I told you once, I'll tell you again and this is the last time: I hate this planet and once I have enough money, we're offa here!_

_Ani, Owen, please! We rarely have time together as a whole family – Anakin, please come back here!_

_Harsh breathing_

_I am your father._

Luke woke in a cold sweat. Leia turned over in her bed and mumbled something about, "I'll build the dinner later, mom, we're out of carbonite sprinkles for the cake." Her dream sounded infinitely better than his, though it was all nonsensical. He tossed aside the blanket and missed the one he'd had on the Falcon, though that was gone, Force knew _where_. Luke could have sworn he left it on the Falcon and hadn't had time to go get it before the battle and evacuation of Hoth. It certainly wasn't in his X-Wing. Maybe he'd left it somewhere else and was nearby or maybe it was now a permanent part of the ice landscape of Hoth.

He stood up and went to wake Leia.

She sat upright immediately and Luke thanked the stars he'd managed to convince her to not have a blaster under her pillow. "Bad dream," he told her. Leia scooted over and made room for him. Once he settled in, she leaned her head against his shoulder and waited. "I don't want to think about it," he said honestly.

"Hmmm, I dreamt I had to make a cake out of spare parts for Artoo's and Threepio's anniversary. Threepio insisted that the color scheme be green and beige. Beige frosting just looks horrible on a cake, don't you think?" She waited for a reply, but Luke just took her hand and started to drift back to sleep. "Should we have a club meeting tomorrow?"

Luke's reply was a snore. Leia smiled and fell back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Leia wanted to ask Luke about the club meeting in the morning, but he left early. At the earliest opportunity to ask, she took it and he just said, "Can't. We need Han for a meeting."<p>

Now, days after, she and Mon Mothma studied the latest proposal for a shipment of very needed ship parts. As Mon explained the terms the suppliers had demanded, Leia felt the sudden urge to go to Luke and make sure he was all right. She had felt it on Bespin and again whenever Luke had pains in his hand. There was no explanation and she and Luke had not talked about it. They had talked about his Jedi training and because of stories her father had told her, Leia figured it was that: Luke used his Jedi powers to consciously or subconsciously call for her. If she ever got to have a meeting, she wanted to bring it up but without the premise of a club meeting, she felt too uncomfortable.

Leia rose from her seat, excuse on the tip of her tongue and then the call was silent. Not only was it silent, she felt her heartbeat slow and a gentle wave of restfulness came over her. He was fine; she should take care of her business. She would check on him later. And if he really needed her, he would call. "Sorry, had to stretch," she told Mon and sat back down.

* * *

><p>Luke closed his eyes, kept his legs folded under him, and meditated.<p>

As he sank deeper into meditation, for the first time the phantom pains faded into oblivion.


End file.
